Dating Violence, When Will It End?

I see little change in the 21st century concerning dating and domestic violence when compared to the previous century.

Women in domestic violent situations are 1 in 4. Girls abused in dating relationships are 1 in 3.

Does that sound like things are evolving? All this talk of "the universe"experiencing a oneness with humanity? As Paula A. says, we are becoming a more gentle people? What's wrong with this picture then?

And when I hear Denise Brown, Nicole Simpson's sister, on Larry King the other night, say when she saw the headlines about Chris Brown, it made her question what we have learned since Nicole's death? I'm like, "What?" What have we learned since Nicole...? Not being ugly, but really, what about what have we learned since Molly, Candy, Jan, and all those nameless women have been or being abused and or die EVERY DAY, EVERY second of a day?

What have we learned? I don't get that? This isn't just about big time hot-shots in the media, this is about PEOPLE. Just people. People everywhere, from every walk of life. And they all deserve to be acknowledged.

Wake up, America!
These stats should be sobering. Look around you, and consider the vast amount of women who are in abusive situations.

What You Can Do?
  • Quit being critical. Quit thinking, "I'd never put up with that!"
  • Quit judging, "Those women are just stupid and they are stupid for 'staying'!"
  • If that is your attitude, you need it checked.
  • And you need to educate yourself before inserting foot in mouth.
I don't say that unkindly, but strongly. Why? It's because of uneducated attitudes like that that we continue to suffer this demise in the lives of women of all ages and socio-economic status.

What Do I Know?
Back in the 90s, I was on the speaker's bureau at a nationally known domestic violence center. My job description was to inform the community about the perils of this social illness as a means of prevention and awareness. It changed my life. I know most of you are not going to find that in your field of expertise, but I implore you to step up and learn more.

And more so, folks, I was in a dating violent relationship as a teenager. Which was followed up by a domestic violent relationship in my early adulthood. And, no, I didn't grow up in a violent home. Nothing could be further from the truth. Understanding the dynamics of why and how these things happen is paramount if change is going to happen in our society. We are obviously not doing something right.

Only The Famous!
So how sad is it that it takes well-known people, like Chris Brown, to abuse someone to get our attention? That grieves me. I mean, there are people all around us being abused and rarely does it hit the news until someone gets killed.

Young adults are now using the term "Chris-Brown-it" when playing video games. The meaning being slung around as carelessly as Chris's hands were on Rhianna.

What will it take to change the face of this social dilemma?

Whether you like Oprah or not, she will be addressing this social demise Thursday, March 12. There are numerous options to educate yourself. Look up your local domestic violent center and ask them for material. You might even want to go to a lecture on the matter in your community.

Think about it. We'll be talking about this more in future articles.

Photo:clk here
Article Revised: 3/14/09
Note: This does not exclude the fact that men are abused. More on that later.
I will be addressing my own personal experience as well.

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