What's Appealing About Being Abused?

Continuing on with our series on domestic/dating violence...

Hi Ellen, I have not been on the computer much here lately. I read your abuse story (3/20). As I read, I thought why do women allow things like this to happen? I think we feel hopeless and think there is no way out of this, also as you mentioned, we all think it will get better: "he" will stop this and everything will be OK. We just keep hoping, until we meet our limit and know this is all wrong. Some of us can do it ourselves, but there are some who need to seek help, so they do manage to find a way out. Thanks for letting us into your heart. ~Marion~

Marion asks penetrating questions about who we are as women.

What do you think? About Abused Women?
Are they just weak? Are they just stupid? Are they just hopelessly in love? Are they always willing to put ourselves last? What do they not get about leaving bad relationships?

Some women think, number one, they would NEVER get themselves in these types of relationships to begin with, and if they ever did, they would be out in a flash.

The hard reality is ANYONE can find themselves in an abusive relationship. No one, I repeat, NO ONE is exempt, no matter how much you try and convince yourself. Remember, abuse does not typically rear its ugly head until deeper into the relationship. And get out so quickly? Stats show otherwise. Take heed lest ye fall yourself. Rather educate yourself, and it might change your whole perspective and your attitude.

Yes, there are some people who will acclimate toward abusive men, without even realizing it. Some people grow up in abuse, so there is a "comfort" level, if you will, with the dysfunction. Yet, there are many who have not suffered abuse in their childhood, and find themselves "involuntarily" in bad situations.

But the questions rage on about women and why they do what they do? The unfortunate part is, the questions sometimes turn angry and often become hurtful and accusatory. Believe me, uninformed judgments only keep the abused down.

Yes, I do understand the quandary from those who have not walked in the shoes of these women. For it seems, "these" women are just not willing to do something to make their lives better. That they are willing to just take whatever their perpetrator dishes out. Right? Uh-huh. I've heard it all.

So tomorrow we will take a closer look behind their eyes to better understand what drives these women to even dare to consider staying in these broken down destructive relationships. You might be surprised at what you discover.

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